Mums and Stories is proud to share this amazing story of RJ Snigdha Kemkar.
‘My journey as a mother of two very special children’.
“Before I could get out of the infatuations and teenage crush, I was made to realize and understand the meaning of true love together with my husband who I married really very young.
A little short of twenty I was engaged and as I crossed twenty, I left my parental abode. A true tomboy, extremely restless who loved to live life to the fullest was married at the young age of 20 unaware of what life had in store for her.
A year and a half later, I was carrying my first baby and I was many a times a target of adult jokes at fauji (armed forces) get togethers. For instance, “this is a classic example of child molestation”!
Of course, I learnt to laugh them off with time.
A beautiful baby girl, near angelic was born to us and brought a new lease of life to me. It indeed was the most beautiful moment of my life.
Though I never wanted to look back at the labour room, there I was one more time 3 years later. A lovely looking boy child who looked no less than a born model.
I was so blessed. I was all of 25 when I was a mum for both my children. On the other hand, I had friends who were shining in their higher studies, career and other ambitions, and here I was devoting my complete time to my family with two small babies to raise but without any regret of losing out on my time for other things in life that a young lady would perhaps dream off.
Sometimes I would get frustrated! After all I am human!
Everything was settling down until my son, my younger one was diagnosed with Autism spectrum disorder by the age of 3 at the NIMHANS.
Though I sensed much early that there is something wrong but could not perhaps give a deep thought or maybe I was constantly denying the truth.
We were blown off as we were not even aware of this lifetime disorder that never gets cured but can only be managed to some extent.
Life for me came to a halt at 25.
Just when I was glad that I shall restart my career options once the children start schooling, I started a life with a different meaning altogether.
My girl by then was about 6 years old and was subjected to responsibilities, understanding, compromises and sacrifices at an early age. I still feel sorry to have neglected her at times but later realized that the reason why today she is the best child, best sister and a best friend, is only because of her maturity and I have no qualms in admitting that she is half a mother and sometimes knows better ways to handle my son that we do.
The journey of daily therapies began, the special school visits and rounds started and day after day a new challenge was thrown at me.
A few schools denied entry to my son because he is non verbal and hyperactive. I don’t blame them really. But it also meant I am under house arrest with him 24/7.
It can take a toll on the most energetic, positive and super moms sometimes, and the world never realizes or understands that.
I had made up my mind to face each challenge with my chin up and fight till the end and I continue to do so!
I changed my outlook towards my life. I wanted to live again, breathe again, enjoy again and it was like serendipity. However the moment I stepped out of my cocoon, I was able to give a better life to all others around me, specially my immediate family members and most importantly my son.
Soon I resumed my career as an accredited Soft skill trainer at an age of 33 when my son found a better school too.
It was a year later that I was also selected for auditions and I completed my certification as a Radio host at AIR. This is where I truly lived my dream, being someone who eats, breathes and sleeps music.
Nearly a decade in radio, I simultaneously started hosting live stage shows and organizing events of large magnitude with names to reckon with. Mike became my favourite accessory!
I perhaps always believed in the Mantra” Healthy Body leads to a healthy mind” and my passion for dancing took me another world and I started a Fitness Academy called DANCERCISE and it is successfully running more than 5 years now.
One common question that am asked almost every single day past 15 years is -” HOW DO YOU MANAGE”? My answer is- “IT IS JUST A STATE OF MIND…IF YOU WANT, YOU CAN.”
However, nothing of the above would be possible without my family’s support. My husband who sacrificed his Job in the Air force as a senior officer to be with us. My daughter who takes turn to look after and baby sit my son when I am away at my ventures.
Today, when I think back, there is so much satisfaction that I have made better use of my life so far than others who had all the time in the world for themselves and are yet idle.
I thank God for blessing me with a child who taught us the real meaning of compassion, focus, patience, tolerance and above all, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND CARE.
He gave me the opportunity to introspect my strength and skills.
Albeit, There have been instances which I would like to forget forever since they left behind a lot of pain. It is sad that the society does not include these children and understand them as one amongst them.
We are constantly trying. Hope is the way of life!
I am extremely proud that my daughter who lost her childhood in taking care of him when it was her time to play with toys, is today a very stylish, intelligent, talented architect in the making doing very well for herself. Touch wood!
I share a very special bond with her and the fear of letting her grow and go away sometimes bothers me and ironically on the other hand, I am planning to send her abroad for her further studies and career options;-)
The most lingering thought about my son that worries me and my Husband is-“WHAT AFTER US”? He has just turned 18!
We have decided to recognize his skills and try giving him the best we can.
Recently an organization that works with autistic adults opened doors for him with a career option as a model who could get paid by performing ramp walks or pose for still photographs.
I firmly believe that God does some balancing act with each of his creations.
My son may not be verbal but is blessed with above average looks and physique.He was called a born model but we never thought of this option.He is begun his journey of a life of his own that means the world to us.
The beautiful Journey continues.”