Blog post submitted by Samali Mohanta Basu
Meeting your baby for the first time after birth is a momentous occasion for moms and that’s how it was for me. The first time I held my baby in my arms was a moment of immense relief. ‘I am a mother now’, I thought silently to myself and was so filled with love. And thus began my thrilling journey of motherhood.
I was a media professional for around 3 years before I had baby. So, I am well aware of what it means to be a working individual as well as a Stay-at-Home-Mom (since I am one now).
There are several misconceptions or theories about Stay-at-Home-Moms or Supermoms (as we are referred to sometimes), which may be funny or irritating depending on your frame of mind.
Firstly, just because I am at home 24 X 7 does not mean I have all the time in the world. The first thing people say when they call up or drop in unannounced during afternoon is ‘were you sleeping?’ Of course, the question that they don’t say out loud is ‘what do I do the whole day?’ Simply because I stay at home the whole day doesn’t mean I have the luxury of sleeping whenever I fancy. The only free time I have is when my son sleeps. Most of the time I am pursuing my son’s routine, in whatever time is left, I read or write or watch movie for a change.
Relaxation? Well, agreed that I don’t have to rush to office at a particular time, but the moment my day starts, it revolves around my child. I brush his teeth, take care of his meals, and only then have mine, play with him because he wants Mummum (that’s what he adorably calls me) to sit with him and play, put the house in order, massage him, bathe him, put him to sleep, and finally then I get some breathing space.
People generally assume that the reason we are not hiring a nanny to take care of our child is because we don’t have enough money (since I am not working any more). Trust me, it is by choice. I wanted to take care of my child myself.
Personally, more than annoyed, I am amused by the perceptions about Stay-at-Home-Moms. What irks me most is the self-pity mode people drive me into for giving up my career. I took a decision with my brain and heart and in complete control of my life.
Of course, I am not cribbing about my choice but I regret it sometimes because of how overwhelming and cumbersome it gets, but still when I see the larger picture, I love it. Raising a person you chose to bring into this world is a privilege. I don’t cast aspersions on women who work outside of the home. I understand that many of them are forced into it because one income simply isn’t enough to meet the financial needs of their family; or they just choose to work because that’s what they want to do. Fine.
If you are proud of how you are living your life, there is no need to rephrase it to make it more palatable to those who don’t agree with its worth. At the end of it, we are humans and don’t have to be “supermoms” as just being mom itself is such an arduous task!