A blog from a mum on her journey with her daughter ‘ Me being a bad mother’- by Rohini Sen
” I am not a good mother, I think I have said this many times and at many places. And yet most of the times I try hard, sometimes just enough to be seen in good light. By whom? Well strangers, family, just about anyone I think. And then there are days when I think that its all an act.
The real me is only when its just the two of us. No not even the father. When its only me and her. That’s the real mother in me.
And I must confess the mother in me is not always patient, lovely and perfect. She snaps often on some days and hugs often on many. She shouts (yes, she does) and looses her cool on many and apologizes to her tiny kid on many. She gossips on many days and talks virtuously on many.
She hates everything on many days and loves life on many days. And all through she knows that the little girl that she is raising is imbibing all that she does, the little girl will most definitely follow in her footsteps.And nothing scares the mother in me than that particular thought.
I am not perfect, I am not the TV mom who can whip up magical healthy dishes for her kids. I am not even like so many other beautiful moms I know, moms who are patient beyond a point, who have their parenting basics in place and who most definitely will raise strong confident children.
I on the other hand am still a work in progress 🙂 The girl in me in still growing and I think its a journey for both of us, my little one and me -together
I am just a mom trying to sail through life. All that I understand is that some basics I will not compromise. I try and teach her to be a good human being, honest person and confident girl.I may be mean but I want her to love more, trust more and believe in the goodness of the world more. I want her to take risks, take chances, dream more.I want to be that wind beneath her wings.
And most importantly I will love her for who she is. All my wishes for her do not matter, what matters is what she wants and who she really is.
I hope to tell her someday that life is not simple, that she will fail, feel hurt, feel lost and defeated but I want her to know that no matter what happens, I will stay by her always. I will try to judge less and love her more, always.I hope someday she gets to know me, the real nutty, cynical, crazy me and we love each other for who we really are.
Whether this is enough to sail through this mystery called life, I have no idea. I have so many wonderful mom friends, relatives. These are people who I admire for their parenting principles. I have so many friends whose parents I admire (from knowing them to hearing about them).
All these wonderful people inspire me to be a decent parent (I can never even be like some of them , they are just so evolved). Hope to keep learning from them, till then bad mom rests her case.”
We thank Rohini for writing this and sharing this with Mums and stories.