It was a social media post that this dad had shared which made us ponder on some points raised. We will be sharing the post at the end of this piece. However most will be glad to know increasingly urban society is warming up to the idea of active dads and these are parents who are making everyone else think of not just moms as parents but dads who know their world doesn’t get completed unless they get to spend quality time with their children.
Delwyn Remedios is a faculty at Department of Design in IIT Hyderabad and teaches animation. He also maintains an illustration blog Shayne’s World that speaks of his life as a dad and this is becoming a huge connect with parents.
He shares with Mums and stories, “Being a dad has certainly given me a lot of different experiences and has inspired the illustrator in me. The process of drawing is very meditative and while I am drawing, I am thinking about my wife and child and the nice moments we have shared. This always brings a smile to my face. Honestly, I am partly doing it for myself as it makes me happy and also hopefully it will be a nice memory for my child to cherish.
(Delwyn with his family)
What fascinates me is finding joy in the most simple things that life offers and I try my best to represent that through my illustrations. My drawings are mostly based on real experiences and sometimes I add a bit of imagination. I find it very rewarding if my illustrations can put a smile on the face of others.
If I were to talk on my childhood, I mostly remember the good memories of childhood. The credit goes to my parents. Parenting is a lot of hard work for both the parents and it is also lots of fun. I now understand and appreciate the sacrifices my parents made in raising me and I plan to spend no efforts unturned for my child.
‘Shayne’s World’, has surprisingly received so much of love from many people. It was some of my friends who had suggested to start a page for my daily sketches. Parents find it fascinating when their child goes through something similar and are happy to share that with me.
There have been fathers in earlier generations who have also been active parents, so it would be unfair to write them out. These days, both men and women are capable of everything and my wife and I as parents would like for Shayne to observe that it is a team effort to run a family “.
(Delwyn’s post published last year)
Aren’t fathers capable of looking after their child?
My family (wife and baby) were out at a mall last evening to watch a movie. After the movie, we needed to change the diaper of our baby and headed to the child care room. It was empty, so we both went inside. We were engrossed in changing the diaper for at least 5 minutes till I realized a cleaning lady standing behind me was asking me to exit the room as another mother had come to feed her baby. Fair enough, I apologized and exited the room.
While waiting outside, I kept wondering that why is it that fathers are not allowed in the child care room. This felt wrong in a couple of important ways.
- Aren’t fathers capable of looking after or changing the diapers of their baby?
- Are mothers the only ones who are expected to look after their child?
The room was filled with big posters of mothers and babies, with slogans like ’We understand the mothers bond with a baby.’ and not a single poster of both parents and their child.
This is not the first time that such an event has happened to me. I had once taken my child to the hospital and my wife was at work that day. While waiting in a long queue, my child needed a change. I approached the reception asking if there is any room where I could change my child’s nappy. They replied that only mothers are allowed in the child care room. I mentioned that my wife has gone to work and I am the only one there to change him. It is not fair to let the child suffer in a wet nappy. Unfortunately, they did not have a solution.
So I ended up changing him in public on my lap and since that time the questions above had popped up into my head. The hospital I had visited is one of the very best hospitals that I have ever been too, however it has these unanswered questions.
My aim to share these incidents is not to complain about the unfair world but to bring to notice how we have all accepted these rules without questioning it. As a potential solution, I feel that there should be a separate feeding room for the mothers, but a common child care room wherein both mothers and fathers are encouraged to share the load of taking care of their baby.